,
my life became very scary
As you know, I lived from my car for a little while there.. I didn’t know things like happening within because my body was practically in survival mode not warning me much about my nervous system. I must have missed those signs somehow because now that I have been safely tucked into a new home surrounded by people who love me unconditionally my nervous system felt safe enough to show me how much healing work needs to be done. I was not prepared for the emotional ups and down or the whiplash… there’s nothing that can prepare you for the story I am about to share.
While homeless I desperately wanted a home where I had love and people who just understand how hard it is. so what I did was reached out to family I haven’t seen in over 15 years and was welcomed to live here as long as I need. This home is magical I swear.
So when I was told yes, I packed my car early in the morning filling it up, stopped for a moment to call my parents and give them the news and they were kinda sad to see me go but also were extremely supportive. They just wanted me to come home one last time before I drove 900 miles away. I did. my pops had left to the gym, I started doing laundry waiting for both my mama and pops to come home. And as I’m helping take their trash out I get a call from my pops, a call that changed the way the Earth moves for me.
“Hey are you sitting down”
“no what’s wrong”
“your sister shot herself in the face” “but she’s still alive”
……
“im coming home, were driving to Austin to pick up your mom, pack a bag…I don’t know how long we will be there”…
so all of these things I thought I could do … this website…the box idea.. having friends… have been really hard since the healing phase my sister is in… since me moving after taking care of her in her house for two weeks… just all of it.
but ill get back to it at some point…
Best always, me
This happened on April 8 it is now May 8… I know its been a whole month but I have like no motivation. only enough to heal myself right now.